This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Bucket Sweet Bucket" from season 5, which aired on July 27, 2007.

• [The episode begins at the Chum Bucket]
• Plankton: Oh, brother. [cut to the interior of the dining room. Plankton opens the kitchen doors, and sees the dirty room. Pan shot of the dining room.] Just look at this place. Might as well be a mausoleum. Abysmal. Ah well, at least it's structurally sound. [The door falls on him, and he tries to get off from it] Forget this! I'm sick of not having any business.
• Karen: [appears] Then why don't ya fix this rust bucket up? Look around. Chipping paint, [A piece of the wall comes off, revealing a chip on the dirty wall] bad plumbing, [Cut to the very dirty pipes] dust bunnies-- [a literal dust bunny blows away] it's no wonder you don't have any customers.
• Plankton: Okay, I get it. I get it! It's time to give this place a complete overhaul. [cut to outside the Chum Bucket, where Plankton is dragging a blue paint bucket] Whoa, whoa! [almost falls in the bucket. Grabs the paintbrush but has difficulty painting the building due to the paintbrush being too large] I shouldn't have to subject myself to such menial labor. [screams and falls off the bucket, the paintbrush handle in his mouth. He sits up, spitting it out and coughing] Ah! This is a job for an imbecile! [Sees Patrick and SpongeBob laughing while playing leapfrog, both are heard laughing every time they leap]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah! Gimmie 5!
• Plankton: Or two imbeciles. [laughs, and walks over to SpongeBob and Patrick before the former was about to leap] Excuse me, gentlemen. I am sorry to bother you, but I'm having a bit of trouble with my abode. [Tears up] You see... [sheds a tear] I would like to paint the Chum Bucket to please my wife. But alas, [wipes tear from eye before arms shrivel up] I am too small and feeble.
• SpongeBob: Oh. Well, we can help you, right, Patrick?
• Patrick: Uh-huh. I came prepared, too. [holds up a watermelon and sticks his head in it] Alright, let's do it. [holds a paintbrush. Cut to later]
• Plankton: Okay, boys. [SpongeBob and Patrick are holding paintbrushes and wearing decorative hats] Karen wants this place to really sparkle. I was thinking it could use a little more pizzazz. [Sparkle dust appeared when Plankton said "Pizzazz."]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Pizzazz, yeah.
• Plankton: [gets a new idea] Hey, I know. Why don't ya paint the entire Chum Bucket?
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa... really?
• Plankton: Oh, yes. I need your artistic vision. You wouldn't wanna disappoint my Karen, now, would you?
• SpongeBob and Patrick: No, sir. [Patrick shakes his head] Uh-uh.
• Plankton: Well, hop to it, lads.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [salute] Yes, sir! [start painting the Chum Bucket. Cut to Squidward, walking with headphones so he can listen to music.]
• Squidward: Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. Heel, toe. [notices SpongeBob and Patrick painting the Chum Bucket]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [singing offscreen] Tra-la-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la-la. [on-screen] We love to work.
• Squidward: What the--?! [walks to SpongeBob, who is painting the wrong way] SpongeBob, what atrocity is this?!
• SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward. Lookie, Mr. Plankton's having us paint. He calls it pizzazz. [Makes the sparkle dust, which then lands on Squidward]
• Squidward: Pizzazz, huh? [SpongeBob, who has got paint everywhere, slides down the ladder] What would you know about that?
• Patrick: [appears, also has paint everywhere] Plankton says he needs our artistic vision.
• SpongeBob: Let's show him. [They paint each other vigorously]
• Squidward: You buffoons wouldn't know artistic vision if it hit ya over the head. Now where's the paintbrush? [takes a blue paintbrush] I'll show you what artistic vision is all about. Start with light brush strokes. [paints a little on the Chum Bucket]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh. [they lightly paint each other]
• Squidward: Yeah. Perfect. [keeps on painting] Simpletons.
• [As SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward keep painting, we pan over to Plankton who spots what's happening]
• Plankton: Amazing! I didn't even have to trick the tall one. [chuckles] My plan is falling right into place. With those three boobs preoccupied, stealin' the formula will be a snap! [heads to the Krusty Krab, but SpongeBob stops him]
• SpongeBob: [off-screen] Mr. Plankton? [walks to Plankton, and he's got green paint all over his face] All this hard work is making us thirsty. Do you think we could get-- [clears his throat] --a drink?
• Plankton: Let me show ya somethin', SpongeBob. [opens the doors] I sure wish I could offer you a cold drink for all your hard work, [They both walk towards the very messy bad plumbing, or pipes] but alas, my pipes are rusted shut. [SpongeBob breaks the stiff liquid]
• SpongeBob: Ooh, I see what you mean.
• Plankton: Yes. If only there was some way I could— [He notices that SpongeBob is not there] Where'd he go?
• SpongeBob: [lollygags outside] La-la-la-la-la-la-la. [Plankton laughs]
• [SpongeBob goes into the Krusty Krab basement and takes out some pipes, which cause a leak. He takes a pipe out of one of his pores, which gets his brain out. The brain slides down back to one of SpongeBob's top pores, and, now feeling better with his brain, gets the other pipe out of his side pore. He collects two under the water]
• Plankton: [walks up to the Krusty Krab doors laughing] Secret formula, here I come! [opens the door and a bunch of water streams out. Plankton screams]
• SpongeBob: [off-screen] La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. [walks back to the Chum Bucket with a lot of pipes]
• Plankton: Perfect. [spots a problem with Squidward] Huh? [Squidward, back in his normal shirt, is painting himself on the Chum Bucket. Plankton climbs up the ladder and jumps on Squidward's head] No! No! No! It's all wrong! [Squidward glares angrily] Don't you know a thing about art? Gimme that brush! [takes brush and paints something] Yes, yes... and yes. Voilà! [bluegrass music plays as he paints a log cabin]
• Squidward: A log cabin?
• Plankton: Yeah, [throws the paintbrush away] I just think they're so cozy. Now that's what ya call art. [jumps off of Squidward's head]
• Squidward: Everyone's a critic.
• Plankton: [seen walking back to the Krusty Krab] I can't wait to see Krabs' face when he discovers that I've absconded with the secret Krabby Patty formula. [SpongeBob stops him again]
• SpongeBob: [off-screen] Hey, Plankton. [Plankton walks back to SpongeBob. There is a square window at the Chum Bucket.] Whaddya think of the new window? We got it from the Krusty Krab.
• Plankton: SpongeBob, how do you expect me to see out of a window that high?
• SpongeBob: I guess I hadn't thought about that.
• Patrick: I did. [a round window is near the ground] Look, Plankton. It's the perfect height for your kind.
• Plankton: [He and SpongeBob walk to Patrick] See, SpongeBob? Patrick's using the old noggin. He knows I'll actually want to see out the window. [notices the window is showing a blank wall]
• Patrick: Wait, you wanted to see out the window? Weird.
• [Plankton snaps and unscrews a bolt from the window and puts it in between his teeth and growls in extreme rage. Then breaks the bolt]
• Plankton: Can't you two do anything right?! I give you one simple task after another and-- [tears up and starts to shed tears] Just forget it. It was foolish of me to think this plan would ever work. When nothing else in my life has panned out. [Looks up at them]. Telemarketing, life guarding, creative writing—all such bitter failures. [Curls up by SpongeBob's shoe and cries]
• SpongeBob: [picks up Plankton] Oh, it's okay, little green... creature. Patrick and I are gonna keep working on the Chum Bucket, until it's the most pizzazziest [Sparkle dust appears again] restaurant in Bikini Bottom.
• Plankton: [crying] Really?
• SpongeBob: And how. Come on, fellas. Let's do some interior decorating.
• Squidward: Oh, goodbye, paintbrush. [Throws his brush away] Hello, antique finish. [SpongeBob and Patrick run to the Krusty Krab, the former unknowingly dropping Plankton.]
• Plankton: [Falls face flat on the floor; dizzy] Well... that oughta keep them busy for a while. [cut to later, SpongeBob and Patrick are taking apart the arch on the side of the Krusty Krab]
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup. [they throw the arch up and it comes back down on their bodies.] Hup, hup. Thwart. [They carry it over to the Chum Bucket while Plankton goes to the Krusty Krab] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
• Plankton: I just need to sneak past Krabs, and I'm home-free.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup. [Take the doors of the Krusty Krab apart and carry them back. Plankton walks inside. But when he hides behind a table, SpongeBob and Patrick take that with them.] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
• Plankton: [Hides in the boat behind the cash register] Where could that stingy crab be?
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [Take the boat with the cash register with them.] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup. [Plankton laughs as he is hiding behind the grill, but SpongeBob and Patrick take the grill to the Chum Bucket. Then Plankton goes into Mr. Krabs office]
• Plankton: Still don't see him.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [Both take Mr. Krabs' desk.] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
• Plankton: [Gasps] The safe! I'm in the clear, baby! [squeezes inside the safe, then has a lantern and sees the secret formula] It's beautiful. [tears up] No, no tears. Not yet. [takes a deep breath] There's work to be done. [unscrews the bottle top, and holds the secret formula] Ha-ha! At long last!
• [A black and white crowd applauds]
• Plankton: And the secret formula is: one bottle of molting lotion, [close-up on Plankton, who looks confused] take passport photo, get new safe travel size. This isn't the secret formula! It's a to-do list! [screams in fury and tears it up. Turns into a little green hulk and bursts out of the safe. When he comes out, there is nothing but the safe left] Huh?! What happened to the Krusty Krab? [gasps] What happened to the Chum Bucket?!
• [It's revealed that the Chum Bucket turned into a replica of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob and Patrick are seen with hammers, hammering the roof]
• Plankton: Curses! This isn't what I meant by renovation!
• SpongeBob: I know. Isn't it great? It looks just like the Krusty Krab.
• Mr. Krabs: It looks more like Plankton tryin' to steal me restaurant! [steps out of a taxi with suitcases in hand and a hat on his head]
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! You've returned from your vacation. [the word "Exposition!" appears above SpongeBob's head]
• Mr. Krabs: And it's time for the Krusty Krab to return from its vacation. [He scuttles to the back of the building and as he grunts with effort, he pushes the Krusty Krab over to its original spot. Then flips it over to have the doors face the street]
• SpongeBob: Hooray!
• Patrick: Yay!
• Mr. Krabs: [takes the safe out from his throat. It was covered with saliva. He takes out the formula for the patties] And I bet you tried to steal this, too.
• Plankton: [chuckles sheepishly] Well, steal is such a strong word. [Mr. Krabs grabs him on the side of his eye. He screams in pain]
• Mr. Krabs: You don't really think I'd leave me secret formula behind when I go on vacation, do ya? Now...
• Mr. Krabs and Plankton: "Stay away from me..."
• Plankton: "...restaurant, bug." I think we've been through this before. Allow me to do the honors. [throws himself back at the Chum Bucket, but doesn't scream like he always does. He lets out a blank expressionless monotone scream. Plankton lands face-first on the ground, where the Chum Bucket previously was]
• Karen: [upset] Oh, excellent job, genius. Ya really fixed the place up.
• Plankton: [muffled] Don't nag me, Karen. I've had a long day.
• [Cut to later at the Krusty Krab, which is now redecorated]
• Mr. Krabs: Yup, Squidward, ya really outdid yourself with the new decor. Where'd you get the fountain? [close up of said fountain]
• Squidward: That, I sculpted out the concrete foundation of the Chum Bucket.
• Mr. Krabs: And all these metal decorations?
• Squidward: Those were all fabricated from the Chum Bucket walls.
• Mr. Krabs: And the computer? [SpongeBob is playing solitaire]
• Squidward: Oh, that's Plankton's wife.
• Mr. Krabs: Well, it looks great, lad. And it didn't cost me a dime.
• Incidental 105: [walks unpleased at the two] Whoa, $25 for a Krabby Patty? Rip off, dude. Not cool.
• Mr. Krabs: But you're payin' for the enhanced ambiance—dude.
• Incidental 105: Well, that's true—it is pretty classy in here. [Turns into a happy expression] Gimme four! [The episode ends]