This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Summer Job" from season 7, which aired on March 23, 2010.

• [The episode starts at Mrs. Puff's Boating School with the bell ringing and everyone cheering.]
• Mrs. Puff: Have a good summer vacation, class. I'll see you all next fall! [SpongeBob smiles] Well... Hopefully not all of you.
• Students: Wheee!
• Mrs. Puff: Time to vamoose!
• SpongeBob: Oh, Mrs. Puff? [starts walking towards Mrs. Puff]
• Mrs. Puff: [frightened] Where are my keys?!
• SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff?!
• Mrs. Puff: [nervously] Come on!
• SpongeBob: I've got something for you!
• Mrs. Puff: [dumping everything out of her bag and finds her keys] Uh-huh!
• SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff?!
• Mrs. Puff: Get away from me! [runs and jumps into her vehicle, hesitating, the boat fails to start.]
• SpongeBob: Oh, Mrs. Puff?! [running towards Mrs. Puff]
• Mrs. Puff: [hesitating] I gotta get out of here! [attempts to start the boat again then it starts, destroys the fence as she drives away, and looks back. In relief] Phew! I lost him.
• SpongeBob: [appears in front of Mrs. Puff's face] Mrs. Puff? [Mrs. Puff screams. SpongeBob hands out note] Can I give you my note now?
• Mrs. Puff: [angry] Why can't you take a hint?! [gasps and smacks SpongeBob out of the boat, but SpongeBob hangs on]
• SpongeBob: Help!
• Mrs. Puff: Oh dear, of course I'll help. [floors it and goes up a hill. SpongeBob falls and rolls on the road and as he stops he shakes his head.]
• SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff! [running] Don't forget to read the note!
• Mrs. Puff: Why won't he just let- [she screams as the note covers her eyes. And she crashes into the Krusty Krab and then rolls up the note and observes the damage she caused. Gasps in horror] Oh no! Not again! If my parole officer finds out, I don't stand a chance! I'll be sentenced for life this time! [cries. Mr. Krabs walks by]
• Mr. Krabs: Hmmm... Quite a conundrum you have here. It would be a cryin' shame to a certain someone if this information were to leak out to the authorities.
• Mrs. Puff: Oh, please, don't tell the police, I'll be a dead man if I get caught! I'll do anything!
• Mr. Krabs: It's gonna cost a fortune to get this fixed. Thanks to you.
• Mrs. Puff: Oh, gracious me, I don't have that kind of cash!
• Mr. Krabs: Don't worry! I think we can work something out.
• Mrs. Puff: Huh? You mean we should go out on a date?
• Mr. Krabs: Err... interesting, no, I had something else in mind. Surprise, SpongeBob! You got a new co-worker.
• SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff! [Mrs. Puff gasps in horror]
• Mr. Krabs: She'll be filling in for Squidward while he's... [puts a Krusty Krab employee hat on Mrs. Puff's head] ...on vacation! Isn't that right, Mrs. Puff?
• Mrs. Puff: [sarcastically] That's right.
• Mr. Krabs: She'll be working unpaid until he returns. Won't she?
• Mrs. Puff: [sarcastically] Yeah. [Squidward walks into the kitchen]
• Mr. Krabs: [escorts Squidward out of the kitchen]Squidward! I forgot to tell ya. You're taking a summer off! Have a good time! See ya! [closes the kitchen door] Phew! That was close.
• SpongeBob: It all sounds a bit mysterious to me. Oh, but why should I care? I'm working with good old Mrs. Puff! Say, did you get my note?
• Mrs. Puff: Oh, I got your note alright.
• SpongeBob: So what do you think?
• Mrs. Puff: What did I think?! I think it caused me to- Let's just say, it changed my life.
• Mr. Krabs: It certainly has. Now, SpongeBob, would you please show Mrs. Puff her new duties vis-a-vis with her recently changed life? 'Cause I'm sure a snail can't be bothered to do it.
• SpongeBob: Oh, boy! I get to show you the ropes, Mrs. Puff! Hey, it's kind of like I'm the teacher! [laughs] I'm gonna be teaching you now.
• Mrs. Puff: Patience is a virtue.
• SpongeBob: Shall we start with the importance of good kitchen hygiene or the unabridged history of the patty?
• Mrs. Puff: Why don't we just start with my basic duties?
• SpongeBob: Eager to get behind the wheel, eh? I like it. Repeat after me, this is my register, there are many like it but this one is mine!
• Mrs. Puff: There are many like it, but this one is mine.
• SpongeBob: Now like a ships rudder this old register is temperamental. When you hit the total key... What are you doing? [in shock] You're not taking notes!? Always remember: Good Grades.
• SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff: Always follow diligent notes!
• Mrs. Puff: I know, SpongeBob. I taught you that phrase!
• SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mrs. Puff, you can borrow my notepad today! [hands out a notepad to Mrs. Puff] Now, where was I... Oh, yes! The total key is a bit sticky, so you're gonna have to be forceful, but not too forceful. Get it?
• Mrs. Puff: Forceful, but not too forceful.
• SpongeBob: You did! Diligence like this deserves a sticker! [puts the sticker which says U. R. GR8! on it] Collect 10 and your entitled to a super sticker! [holds up a sticker which says SUPER! on it] Why don't we work on our customer service with a little role playing, I'll be the customer, and you show me your best and friendliest service, hmm? [runs]
• Mrs. Puff: Fine... [French dressed SpongeBob walks in]
• SpongeBob: [in a British accent] Good day, m'lady, charmed, I'm sure.
• Mrs. Puff: Heh, funny costume, SpongeBob.
• SpongeBob: [in a British accent] Forgive me, I know not of this SpongeBob fellow. My name is Yukthomas Féyêdêmuffin and I entered your place of business in hope to pro-clearing lunch on this fine day.
• Mrs. Puff: Of course, Mr. Féyêdêmuffin. What would you like to eat today?
• SpongeBob: Psst, Mrs. Puff, it's me, SpongeBob, I think it will go smoother if you refer to him as "duke."
• Mrs. Puff: You mean to refer to you as Duke?
• Duke: Of course, how else one refer to me? I am a duke after all, now I shall fancy a meal if quite alright with you.
• Mrs. Puff: Okay, duke, what will you have?
• Duke: I shall have... beans on toast, please.
• Mrs. Puff: All right, one beans on toast coming up!
• SpongeBob: Psst, Mrs. Puff, SpongeBob again, you better inform the Duke that we don't serve beans on toast.
• Mrs. Puff: [gets angry] This is just ridiculous! Would you simply explain my duties please?! [Mr. Krabs walks by]
• Mr. Krabs: What are you doing yelling at me customers? The duke here is one of me regulars, and I don't need to explain what happens when you start losing your regularity, do I?
• Mrs. Puff: Oh dear... Message received, Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: Just don't let it happen again, Puff.
• SpongeBob: Well, I see you have a little trouble getting in gear there, but you'll be in the fast lane before you know it! [a customer enters] Ah! Here comes another customer! Let's see if you can apply what you learned!
• Mrs. Puff: Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I take your order?
• SpongeBob: Yes!
• Frankie Billy: One Krabby Patty please?
• Mrs. Puff: $1 please. Thank you. [SpongeBob pops up from the register]
• SpongeBob: Good job, Mrs. Puff! Now all that's left is to submit the order to the cook.
• Mrs. Puff: One Krabby Patty!
• SpongeBob: Oh, Mrs. Puff.
• Mrs. Puff: What?
• SpongeBob: It must have slipped your mind that you need to submit the order in writing as well. It's the only way to ensure maximum clarity.
• Mrs. Puff: Fine! Here's your written form!
• SpongeBob: [reading form] One Krabby Patty. Uh, Mrs. Puff?
• Mrs. Puff: What now?
• SpongeBob: I can't begin cooking until the bell is rung. [Mrs. Puff smashes the bell] Thank you! Although, a smidge less rigorous next time please? [Mrs. Puff mutters angrily. SpongeBob rings the smashed bell] Order up! You done well so far, student! Now all that's left is to deliver the item to the customer. Be cautious, but swift. Oh, I wouldn't go that way if I were you. It's faster if you go this way, Mrs. P, look out for the barrel!
• Mrs. Puff: I'll give your barr- [trips on the barrel]
• SpongeBob: Watch for pedestrians! [continues tripping on the barrel, causing havoc] Pot hole! [bumps on the hole, barrel goes even faster] Look out, Mrs. Puff! [runs towards her and jumps up] Time for evasive action! [uses Mrs. Puff's hair for steering. Mrs. Puff continues to scream, as the barrel continues to wreak havoc and ends up on the ceiling and falls. Krabby Patties stack up in the air and end up perfectly on the customer's table] And the patty is unscathed! Way to go, Mrs. Puff! Your first satisfied customer! Although, I have to deduct points for that landing though.
• Mrs. Puff: [inflates] That's it! I don't care anymore! This isn't worth it! [bounces out, shattering the Krusty Krab doors and bouncing into her car] I will not be humiliated any longer! [stares at the note]
• SpongeBob: Don't forget to read the note!
• Mrs. Puff: You! It's because of you I got stuck in this mess! [rips note and throws it on the ground]
• Police: Hold it right there! Well, well, well, if it ain't Mrs. Puff. I saw what you did.
• Mrs. Puff: [gulps] I... you did?
• Police: Yeah.
• Mrs. Puff: [nervously] Oh please! I didn't mean to do it! I swear!
• Police: It's too late for swearing, Puff! The evidence is right here. [points at the ripped paper] You littered. Now you're going to the stony lonesome.
• Mrs. Puff: Littered? You're absolutely right, officer! Yes! I sure did litter! That's what I did!
• Police: Yeah, all right. You're under arrest now.
• Mrs. Puff: [police cuffs her] No problem, officer, time by myself in the stoney lonesome is just what I need!
• Police: Tell it to the judge, Mrs. Puff! [police car drives away as Mrs. Puff laughs. She marks a tally]
• Mrs. Puff: 1 day down, 2,528 to go! That's just shy of 4 years without SpongeBob! I'm going to enjoy this!
• Police: Get up, Puff! The judge says you have to go to traffic school.
• Mrs. Puff: Oh, wow! A Driver's Education class! This is just how I made a living except without him. Delightful!
• SpongeBob: Good day, class! [Mrs. Puff looks over and screams and smacks herself with a book]
• Mrs. Puff: I must be having a nightmare! What's he doing here?!
• SpongeBob: Didn't you read the note, Mrs. Puff? Here, I taped it together and saved it just in case. [reads the note] Dear Mrs. Puff, I'm following in your footsteps and got a job as a Driver's Ed teacher for the summer. ♥ SpongeBob.
• Mrs. Puff: [yelling] No! Get me outta here! [She tries to escape, but the policeman gets her and cuffs her leg to the chair]
• SpongeBob: Now let's open our Driver's Ed handbooks to Chapter 1. [Mrs. Puff sobs uncontrollably. Episode ends]