This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Super Stars" from season 2, which aired on November 6, 2023.

• [The episode opens with an exterior shot of the Star family house.]
• Patrick: Okay, everybody, we've got a terrific show today. [audience cheers and applauds, holds up sock puppet] Isn't that right, Sockie? [as Sockie] That's right, Patrick. On today's show, we're going to have fun!
• Lawnies: [cheering and applause]
• Patrick: [Sockie's eyes pop out, as Sockie] Awuga! Oh, no. [points ahead] That old lady across the street is being robbed! [Sockie shivers, normal voice, looks around] What? Where? [Sockie takes his head off, as Sockie] Over there. [Patrick screams, eyes pop out]
• [Pan over to a crosswalk in town, where a man is trying to steal Granny Tentacles' purse.]
• Man: Hand over the bag, you old bag. [takes bag, runs off laughing]
• Patrick: Oh, no. That sweet old lady is in trouble. Sorry, folks. Show's over. [slides "PLEASE STAND BY" card onto the stage]
• Lawnies: Aww.
• [Inside the Star house, Patrick pulls open a port-a-potty door, which is occupied by GrandPat who is reading a book. He enters and closes the door behind him, and comes out wearing a superhero outfit. GrandPat shivers.]
• Patrick: This looks like a job for-- [stomach gurgling] Hmm. Ooh. [goes back into port-a-potty to use it]
• GrandPat: Ow!
• Patrick: [comes back out] Super Patrick! [flies off as GrandPat comes out of the toilet and falls down]
• [Patrick breaks through the giant TV and flies into the sky.]
• Man: [laughing while running away with the purse]
• [Patrick flies next to a wrecking ball, and uses his belly button to suck the wrecking ball into him. He then flies off, breaking the wrecking ball from its rope. Patrick comes down in front of the man.]
• Man: [skids to a stop, then growls at Patrick]
• Patrick: [pointing down] Drop the bag right now, hooligan.
• Man: I don't think so, pal.
• Patrick: [rolls eyes] 'Kay. Suit yourself. [lifts up his shirt and puts his thumb in his mouth]
• Man: What are you...
• [Patrick blows on his thumb, releasing the wrecking ball out of his belly and into the air. It falls down directly onto the man, crushing him.]
• Patrick: [takes thumb out of his mouth]
• Granny Tentacles: [groaning, getting up]
• Patrick: [flies and stops in front of Granny Tentacles] Fear not, very old lady. You're safe from harm now. [blows his thumb, releasing the purse from his belly into Granny Tentacles' face] Up, down, and away! [flies off]
• Granny Tentacles: [purse falls off her face] Thanks, Super Patrick. [falls over] For nothing.
• Patrick: [looking at camera, flying in the air] Bet you didn't know I was a superhero, huh? Well, I'm not the only [Squidina in the same outfit appears flying next to him] one. Right, Super Squidina?
• Squidina: Yep. And I'm not the only other one. [flies towards the camera] As you'll see in our snazzy intro. [pulls up background for next scene]
• [A toxic waste barrel falls from the sky.]
• Narrator: It was an ordinary day in Bikini Bottom, until a barrel of [barrel gets punctured by a rock] toxic waste [toxic waste spills from the barrel] plunged into the ocean, [toxic waste covers the Star family house] irradiating the Star family [the Star family gets covered in toxic waste] and turning them into super-powered [all five appear in superhero outfits on a flashy background] Super Stars.
• [Patrick flies upward and leaves behind a yellow trail. The other Stars follow. Bunny leaves behind a red trail, GrandPat leaves behind a blue trail, Cecil leaves behind an orange trail, and Squidina leaves behind a blue trail. The stripes move close together and rotate, then leave the screen to transition to Patrick flying through the air.]
• Narrator: Super Patrick with the power of stupid.
• Patrick: Actually, I have super belly button. [crashes into a building]
• Narrator: [as Squidina leaves behind a trail of ink while walking mid-air] Super Squidina, with the power of incredible ink.
• Squidina: [uses ink as a grappling hook and flings ahead] Whee!
• Narrator: [GrandPat is seen in the air] Super GrandPat, with the power of power naps.
• GrandPat: [yawns, lands on a hammock, falls asleep and snores]
• [A bomb falls from the sky.]
• Narrator: [as Cecil holds a baseball glove while running to catch the bomb] Super Cecil, [Cecil slides along the ground and catches the bomb] with the power of dad.
• Cecil: [tosses glove, uses his mustache to laser cut the bomb in half, then hums as he cooks patties and hot dogs on top of it, then flips the food] Bomb burger's up!
• Narrator: And [Bunny appears] Super Bunny, with the power of heart.
• Bunny: [spreads out her arms as a heart appears] La! [looks at camera] Whatever that means.
• Chorus: [a "SUPERSTARS" logo appears as the Star family members drop onto it] Superstars!
• [Colored stripe transition to the presidential building. Mr. Krabs is seen in his presidential office.]
• Mr. Krabs: [reading newspaper, tossing it aside] Hmm. [presses button on desk] Secretary, get me Super Patrick on the line.
• Secretary: [voice only, screen lowers in front of Mr. Krabs] Right away, Mr. President.
• [The screen goes from static to Patrick, who is squirting whipped cream in his mouth.]
• Mr. Krabs: [clears throat]
• Patrick: [notices Mr. Krabs and stops] Oh. Hey, Prez.
• Mr. Krabs: Super Patrick, I appreciate your taking my call. This is very important. I--uh. [unimpressed]
• Patrick: [continues squirting whipped cream into his mouth]
• Mr. Krabs: Super Patrick?
• Patrick: Don't worry. I'm listening. [continues chugging whipped cream]
• Mr. Krabs: Okay. Well, the short of it is, [holds upwards trending chart labeled "CRIME"] crime is up, [holds downwards trending chart labeled "POPULARITY"] and me poll numbers are down. [drops charts] I'm asking you and your entire super family to go out on the streets of Bikini Bottom, and perform as many good deeds as possible. Can I count on the Superstars?
• Patrick: [burps comically loudly for an extended period of time]
• Mr. Krabs: [head on claw] Oh, boy.
• Patrick: [continues burping while running around, then finally stops] Hang on, let me ask them. [turns camera around to his family sitting at a table] Hey, what do you say, fam? Want to help the president and do some good?
• All: Yeah!
• Patrick: We won't let you down, Prez.
• [Colored stripe transition to Squidina standing next to Old Man Walker, who is standing next to a crosswalk.]
• Old Man Walker: Young lady, would you help me cross the street?
• Squidina: You betcha. [shoots an ink portal out of her tentacle and sends Old Man Walker into it]
• Old Man Walker: Whoa!
• Squidina: [flies over the sidewalk and shoots another ink portal above, where Old Man Walker falls down, injured, along with his walker]
• Old Man Walker: Young lady, would you take me to the emergency room?
• [Diagonal stripe transition to a man banging on a vending machine.]
• Man: Hey, this machine stole my dollar.
• Patrick: [landing next to the man and pushes him aside] Step aside, citizen. [pointing to vending machine] I'll teach this thieving robot that crime doesn't pay! [uses his belly button to suck the vending machine into his belly, then flies off into the air] Hoo! You're in the jailhouse now, evil robot. [inhales, then blows on his thumb to release the vending machine, which slides along the sidewalk and hits the gas station, causing a giant explosion which sets fire to some buildings]
• [Stripe transition to a snail stuck on a coral tree.]
• Snail: Meow. Meow. Meow.
• Bunny: [flying, grabs onto the snail] Oh, come here, sweet little baby. [lands on ground, snail purrs] You're all safe now.
• Cecil: [appears] We'll make sure this never happens again. [saw blade appears from his mustache, which he uses to cut the tree] Ya!
• [The tree falls backwards, leaning onto a building behind it. This causes a domino effect with several buildings as Cecil and Bunny watch.]
• GrandPat: [appears] Dagnabbit! Can't a fellow power nap for five minutes without you kids causing a bunch of hullabaloo?
• Cecil: Sorry, Pops.
• Patrick: [lands next to them as GrandPat begins snoring] Uh, Dad, what's insurance? [Squidina lands next to him] And do we have it? And does it cover fire on everything?
• Cecil: Umm...
• Patrick: Hey, [points ahead] what's that?
• [A giant doily is flying in the sky.]
• Bunny: It looks like a giant doily?
• Patrick, Squidina, Bunny, and Cecil: Huh?
• All: [lasers of their respective colors shine onto them as they get abducted by the doily] Whoa!
• [The doily flies off and enters a secret lair building. It enters a hatch which closes after it enters. The Star family are tied up in various locations in the lair.]
• Supervillain: [deep voice] Welcome to my humble abode. [spotlight shines on them to reveal their costume] Oh, how I hate you Superstars. Now I'm going to put an end to you once and [presses button round object] for all! [a robotic arm carrying a tea bag with Patrick inside begins to lower] Care to join me for a spot of tea? Or I could [two robotic arms are knitting a scarf out of yarn, which has Squidina tied to it] knit you a scarf if you're cold. [Bunny and Cecil are tied together via rope, and get lowered as a sentient pair of dentures is directly below them] Hungry? How about a bite? [GrandPat is snoring on the couch with a blanket on him] Or perhaps you'd just prefer a nap on the couch. Oh, don't worry, you won't be [a robot foot quickly lowers directly above GrandPat] underfoot. [cackles]
• [GrantPat's beard brushes the bottom of the villain's foot, tickling it.]
• Foot: Ha-ha-ha-ha.
• Bunny and Cecil: [as the machinery begins to malfunction] Ohh!
• Supervillain: What the? [repeatedly presses button on round object as the foot continues to laugh] Stop it. [the foot rises in the air] Stop! Huh?
• [The robotic foot hits the supervillain, crushing him and destroying the platform the foot is on. The machinery all begins to stop.]
• Patrick: Huh?
• Squidina: Now's our chance.
• Patrick: [squirms and breaks free from the tea bag] Ha-ha!
• Cecil: Come on, kiddos. [uses laser mustache to create a hole in the lair] Time to skedaddle.
• [Patrick flies over to Bunny and Cecil, and Squidina flies while carrying GrandPat, who is still snoring.]
• Squidina: [giving thumbs up] Great work, everybody. Now let's get out of here [points right] before that villain-- [gasps]
• Granny Tentacles: [lifts the robot foot and tosses it aside, then her mask falls off to reveal her true identity] [raising robot fist] You rotten Stars.
• Patrick, Squidina, Cecil, and Bunny: [entire family showing up as a split-screen] Granny Tentacles?
• GrandPat: [still asleep] Oh, Granny Tentacles. [snoring]
• Granny Tentacles: I've always hated your family. Such awful neighbors. And even worse superheroes. So I made this suit to force you into an [presses button on suit to activate rocket boots] early retirement. While I'd love to stay and chat, I'm late for bingo. [cackling as she flies away]
• Cecil: [the Superstars fly after Granny Tentacles] After her.
• Granny Tentacles: Persistent little whippersnappers. [twirls, holds a walker] Take this! [tennis balls rapidly fire from her walker]
• Bunny: I'll handle this. [flies past the others, making them spin] [holding a tray] Howdy, neighbor. [flaming tennis balls hit the tray] Would you like a cookie? [turns around to display tennis ball cookies] They're made with heart.
• [Granny Tentacles lands on the ground, followed by the Superstars. GrandPat falls from the sky and falls on his face.]
• Patrick: [pointing, mouth full] Stop right there, villain! Your reign of terror has-- [angrily eats another cookie, then puts whipped cream in his mouth]
• Granny Tentacles: [sighs, then twirls her purse in the air]
• Patrick: Up, down, and [gets knocked back by the purse] away! [lands on the road, gets up, then sees a boat next to him] Ooh. [pats belly] Oh, perfect. [sucks the boat in with his stomach]
• Cecil: Good thinking, son. [transforms into a golf wedge] Let's drive a wedge into Granny Tentacles' schemes. [laughs, floats above Patrick] Fore! [hits Patrick into the air]
• Patrick: Yahoo! Hey, Granny!
• Granny Tentacles: [turns around] Huh?
• Patrick: Gonna hit you with a boat!
• Granny Tentacles: What's that?
• [Right before the impact, a time card appears.]
• French Narrator: [reading time card] One nanosecond later...
• [A giant explosion occurs, and the scene cuts to black. A new scene appears where Patrick handcuffs Granny Tentacles in front of the now-damaged presidential building.]
• Patrick: The day is saved.
• Crowd: [jeering while holding anti-Patrick signs]
• Crowd member #1: That was terrible!
• Crowd member #2: Boo!
• Crowd member #3: [raising fist] We hate you, Superstars! You make everything worse.
• Crowd member #4: Yeah. You traumatized [holds up child] this poor kid.
• Kid: [waves] Hi.
• Crowd member #5: And you stole my purse that I stole. [cries]
• Crowd member #6: He stole it fair and square.
• Patrick: But--but we're the heroes. [pointing] President Krabs hired us to protect the city.
• Mr. Krabs: [stops walking to his private jet, gasps, sweating] Um, no. I didn't hire--I mean, uh... I'm-a someone-a else-a. [shakes claw] Not-a President-a Krabs-a. [enters jet] Go, go, go, go. [jet flies into the air and disappears with a twinkle]
• Patrick: [tearing up] But we're the good guys.
• Granny Tentacles: No, you ninny. [points right] The citizens wanted [points to herself] me to stop [points to Patrick] you. I'm the good guy.
• Crowd: [cheering while holding up Granny Tentacles signs]
• Granny Tentacles: See?
• Bunny: [rubbing chin] Since she's the good guy, why don't we just be the bad guys?
• Patrick: Oh, [circles in the air] yeah! We're [goatees appear on the Superstars' faces] evil now.
• [Patrick, Bunny, and Cecil all look at each other in surprise, then get in front of the camera.]
• Patrick, Bunny, and Cecil: Evil goatees!
• Granny Tentacles: What the?
• Squidina: All right! [raises rope] Time for some villainy. [beats up Granny Tentacles in a fight cloud, leaving her tied up in the rope] But first, let's get rid of this pesky hero. Evil ink web. [creates an ink web on the door and places Granny Tentacles onto it] Now let's wreak some havoc.
• Patrick: As a family.
• [The Superstars, excluding GrandPat who is still asleep, fly off-screen to cause destruction.]
• Cecil: Let's go!
• [The lawnies are still sitting in front of the Patrick Show television as the city burns down in the distance.]
• Lawnie: [pointing] Try jiggling the antenna.
• [Colored stripe transition to an end card.]