This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Waiting" from season 5, which aired on February 19, 2007.

• [At the Barg'N-Mart, SpongeBob is whistling imitatively while putting a box of Kelp cereal in his shopping cart.]
• SpongeBob: What's this? [reads the box label] It says a free prize! [braying laughter. He takes Gary and his box of cereal home and immediately dumps out all the cereal in the bowl and munches it all down] Huh? Where's my prize? [reads the cereal box again] "Free Prize." [gasps] "Offer inside"! Just send in 99 box tops! [cuts to him eating more cereal with a bunch of cereal boxes all around him] How you doing over there, Gary?
• Gary: Meow. [SpongeBob opens up a box and pours the cereal in his bowl] Meow.
• SpongeBob: Send in the box tops... [swallows the cereal in his mouth] ...before eating all the cereal?! [pause] Gary, you are a genius!
• [Cut to SpongeBob stuffing the envelopes with box tops.]
• SpongeBob: [cuts to him outside by the mailbox] I'm waiting. I'm waiting.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [Patrick appears] I'm waiting.
• Patrick: I'm waiting.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: We're waiting. We're waiting.
• SpongeBob: We're waiting.
• Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we waiting for?
• SpongeBob: We're waiting for the mailman. He's bringing me a free toy.
• Patrick: [claps his hands] I love toys! Can I wait for your toy with you?
• SpongeBob: Why, sure.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: We're waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting.
• Patrick: There's the mailman!
• Mailfish: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
• SpongeBob: Yup. [shudders with excitement as the mailman hands him three envelopes and SpongeBob throws them away] Isn't there anything else?
• Mailfish: Nope, sorry kid. [walks off whistling]
• SpongeBob: Guess we'll have to keep waiting. [both wait by the mailbox. After a while, both of their stomachs growl and bark at each other, as the stomachs just wanted to bite them]
• Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I'm hungry.
• SpongeBob: Me, too.
• Patrick: Let's go down to the Krusty Krab for a Krabby Patty.
• SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick. Krusty Krab, here we... wait a minute. What if the mailman comes when I'm gone? [rushes back to the mailbox and clings onto it]
• Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?
• SpongeBob: If I leave, the mailman might come and I might miss him.
• Patrick: Oh, I'm gonna take off then. I don't think my arm can stand much more of this. [his stomach is biting his arm]
• SpongeBob: [checks the mailbox] Got to stay focused. [checks the mailbox again. Sandy jumps in]
• Sandy: Hiya! Hey, SpongeBob, want to do some karaaaaaa...! [SpongeBob grabs her right arm and flips her on her back]
• SpongeBob: Not now, I'm busy. [Sandy, looking pretty upset, brushes herself off and walks away. SpongeBob checks the mailbox again. Gary pushes his bowl by SpongeBob's foot] Oh, Gary, not now. Can't you see that I'm waiting for the mailman?! Doesn't anyone understand this?! [checks the mailbox again then pants as a scared Gary takes his bowl away] So tired. [his stomach growls] So hungry. [tries to perk up] But... must wait... for toy.
• Patrick: Hey, buddy.
• SpongeBob: [screaming hysterically] What?! What do you want?! Can't you see I'm doing something here?! [pokes Patrick in the head with his left index finger and checks the mailbox, then turns back to him angrily] This better be good.
• Patrick: You missed your surprise birthday party, so I just wanted to bring you a present and some cake because you missed it.
• SpongeBob: [sadly, beginning to choke up] My birthday party? [tears up] I missed... my... birthday party?
• Patrick: Yeah, see? [shows a present and cake] Here's a present and your cake.
• SpongeBob: My birthday cake.
• Patrick: Yeah. Let me just get you a fork so you can eat it. [SpongeBob giggles] Uh, let me just hold the cake like this, [holds the piece of cake between his teeth] so I can get you a fork. [digs in his pocket] Huh, I wonder where I put that fork. [notices he ate the cake] Oops.
• SpongeBob: [disappointed] That was my cake. [sniffs back tears] What is the present?
• Patrick: Oh, yeah. [SpongeBob begins to cheer up a little as he pulls out a present box and opens it; the two peer inside, looking like a fork] The fork!
• [SpongeBob's smile distorts and he breaks down yelling in tears as Patrick throws the present and the fork away.]
• SpongeBob: [drops to his knees] That stupid toy! I wasted my whole life waiting for it!
• Patrick: Actually, you've only been here 20 minutes.
• SpongeBob: I've been mean to Gary and I flipped Sandy, and now you hate me cause... I'm a big jerk! [cries]
• Patrick: No, I don't.
• SpongeBob: Yes, you do.
• Mailfish: SpongeBob SquarePants?
• SpongeBob: [crying and sobbing uncontrollably]
• Patrick: Could you come back later? He's having a moment.
• Mailfish: Yeah. I just need a signature for...
• SpongeBob: [still crying and sobbing uncontrollably]
• Patrick: [yelling] I said he's having a moment! Now leave him alone!
• SpongeBob: [sniffing] No, Patrick, people like me don't deserve moments. [signs for the package] I get so caught up in... [gives the pen back to the mailman] Oh, here ya go. [takes package] ...waiting for my... my toy! [laughs and then Patrick laughs too, yells and then Patrick yells too]
• [Both cheer, riverdance, laugh, and dance on the ground. SpongeBob opens up the package to reveal a green-headed, purple-colored body toy.]
• SpongeBob: [suspiciously] Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
• Patrick: Yup.
• SpongeBob and Patrick: [after a beat, happily] It's beautiful!
• [Patrick touches it and its head and arms pop out on springs; long pause.]
• Patrick: [suddenly nervous] SpongeBob?
• SpongeBob: [jittering] I waited so long...
• Patrick: SpongeBob?
• SpongeBob: [still jittering] And you broke it...
• Patrick: You okay, buddy?
• SpongeBob: [calmly cradling his "broken" toy and not shouting] Yes, yes, I'm okay.
• Patrick: [wipes sweat off his forehead] Phew, oh, for a sec, I...
• SpongeBob: [furiously shouting as he points to Patrick with an accusing left index finger, then the "ruined" toy, Patrick cowers and gets down on the ground in fear as SpongeBob points at him] You! You ruined my free toy!
• Patrick: I'm sorry! Oh, maybe if you just... [pokes it but the springs stretch out further. SpongeBob screams. Patrick screams too, with sobs mixed in with it. SpongeBob screams again and then they both cry. Squidward walks down the street while SpongeBob and Patrick are rolling around screaming and crying.]
• Squidward: [to self] Just keep walking, Squiddy, don't make eye contact. [walks into his house, goes upstairs, opens his window, and looks out to see that SpongeBob and Patrick are still screaming and crying because the toy is "ruined." He growls and closes the window; sighs] Now to soothe my frayed nerves. [takes a deep breath. The screaming and crying resume because of the "ruined" toy. Squidward lets go of his clarinet after it spins around in the air. He is irritated and walks out of his house] Alright! What's going on?! Why are you two crying?!
• SpongeBob: [stammering and crying] I-I ate... bo-bo-box tops. And then... [he smiles unintentionally and tears were gone for seconds] "I'm waiting! I'm waiting!" [goes back crying, and Patrick is still crying] And then he came and "We're waiting! We're waiting! [he gets happy unintentionally again, but goes to angry face before goes back crying] And then my toy and then [points to Patrick] you and then snap and then this! [shows the toy as he continues crying. Squidward takes the toy away, then pushes its head down, making its springs retract, causing SpongeBob and Patrick to stop crying]
• Squidward: There. Now see? [shows how the toy works] It's supposed to do that.
• SpongeBob: [happily] Hey, my toy's okay!
• Squidward: [annoyed, with his arms crossed] Good! Now will you two be quiet?
• SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it! [both run over and hug Squidward] How can we ever thank you?
• Patrick: Yeah, how can we thank you? [giggles]
• Squidward: Move to another neighborhood.