This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Best Day Ever short "Me Money," which aired on November 2, 2006.
- Mr. Krabs: Time to count me money. [sees that his safe is empty] My money! Squidward!
- Squidward: [Mr. Krabs finds Squidward and turns him upside down and then starts shaking him, revealing a pin, a silver coin, and a domino; Squidward screams] I don't have your money!
- SpongeBob: I know who took your money.
- Mr. Krabs: Tell me and I'll let you watch as I tear him into a thousand little pieces, mesh 'em back together, and tear him into a thousand little pieces all over again! [as Mr. Krabs starts saying that he'll tear him into pieces, SpongeBob starts to get worried]
- SpongeBob: [crying] It was me, Mr. Krabs! Please don't tear me into a thousand little pieces and mesh me back together and tear me to pieces again!
- Mr. Krabs: Why, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: To clean and polish it.
- Mr. Krabs: [sees that his money is all over the kitchen] Well, I'll be a sea monkey's uncle.
- [Cuts to Mr. Krabs who opens the safe and then it cuts to the inside of it where SpongeBob is cleaning Mr. Krabs' money.]
- Mr. Krabs: Here's another batch, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob: I'm on it, Mr. K.
- Mr. Krabs: Me money never looked better. Thanks, SpongeBob.