This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "SpongeChovy" from season 14, which aired on November 22, 2023.

• [The episode opens with an outside shot of the Krusty Krab and anchovies are heard meeping insistently.]
• Squidward: Okay, okay! One at a time! [yells at the order window] Krabby Patty!
• Mr. Krabs: [yells at the order window] Krabby Patty!
• [The scene cuts to SpongeBob with piles of Krabby Patties.]
• SpongeBob: [drags one patty] Krabby Patty, [hits the patty away with his spatula] up!
• [While some Krabby Patties are flung through the order window, Squidward yells at the order window for another Krabby Patty and shivers in fear.]
• Mr. Krabs: [yells at the order window again] Krabby Patty!
• SpongeBob: [while he hits a patty with his spatula away] Krabby Patty up! [hits another patty]
• [The anchovies meep while eating Krabby Patties like they did in "Help Wanted."]
• Squidward: Oh, all this meeping is gonna drive me cuckoo, Mr. Krabs!
• Mr. Krabs: All these meeps are paying [pokes Squidward's head with his claw] your salary! Meeps are money!
• Squidward: [yells] Krabby Patty!
• Mr. Krabs: [yells at the order window] Krabby Patty!
• SpongeBob: [hits a patty away] Krabby Patty up! [hits another patty away]
• [The anchovies eat the Krabby Patties, swallow them, and burp. They then clean their mouths with napkins and walk away continuously meeping.]
• SpongeBob: [peeks out the order window with a takeout bag] Wait! [jumps out of the kitchen] Someone [steps on Squidward] ordered a Krabby Patty [steps on Mr. Krabs] to go! [lands in front of the anchovies] Who ordered a Krabby Patty to go? [gets swept away and carried by the anchovies] Wait! Whose order is this? [the anchovies enter a bus] Whoa. Okay.
• [The bus closes the door and takes off. Cut to the inside where the anchovies are meeping in their seats. SpongeBob stretches his way through the anchovies and makes it to the front of the bus.]
• SpongeBob: Pardon me, did someone order a Krabby- deh... [notices the anchovies staring at him] Oh, um, my bad. I meant, "meep, meep!"
• Anchovy: Oh, [accepts the bag] meep! Meep meep. [gives SpongeBob cash]
• SpongeBob: [puts the cash in his pocket] Meep. [high fives and fist bumps the anchovy, then he laughs]
• [The bus arrives at Goofy Goobers, and the anchovies walk out meeping while also carrying SpongeBob.]
• SpongeBob: Oh boy, ice meep! [they enter the palace and leave licking some ice cream]
• [They enter the bus and it takes them to a sunglasses shop. They enter it and leave with sunglasses on while snapping and meeping rhythmically.]
• SpongeBob: Yeah. Real meep, daddy-o.
• [The bus takes them to a mattress store, and they all run inside. The scene cuts to them bouncing on mattresses.]
• SpongeBob: Bouncy, bouncy! Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy! I love to meep! [laughs in between the anchovies]
• [The bus stops at Conch Street, and the anchovies are bidding farewell to SpongeBob, but when the bus drives away, SpongeBob is seen as a faux-chovy.]
• Anchovies: Meep-meep!
• SpongeBob: [waves] Meep!
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking in circles in his living room.]
• SpongeBob: Meep-meep, meep. Meep-meep, meep. [hears a doorbell ring] Meep? [walks to the door] Meep meep meep. [he opens the door and Patrick is at the entrance]
• Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. These palms are ready to play some serious patty cake!
• SpongeBob: Meep!
• Patrick: And you can't play patty-cake without [shows a cake with his tongue] cake!
• SpongeBob: Meep!
• [The two grab a slob of cake and play patty cake with frosting on their hands.]
• Patrick: Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man.
• SpongeBob: Meep-meep-meep, meep-meep-meep!
• Patrick: I'll eat the cake as fast as I can.
• SpongeBob: Meep-meep-meep, meep-meep-meep!
• Patrick: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, "no more patty cakes jumping [SpongeBob laughs] on the bed!"
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick still playing patty cake, but the latter is now a faux-chovy, and they are both meeping.]
• Patrick: Meep meep meep, meep meep meep!
• SpongeBob: Meep-meep for meep-meep, meep-meep-meep-meep!
• Patrick: Meep meep meep!
• Incidental 154: [off-screen; rings doorbell] Mailman!
• [SpongeBob and Patrick walk out of the house and to the mailman meeping.]
• Incidental 154: [putting mail into SpongeBob's mailbox] Morning, SpongeBob. Morning, Patrick. [notices them approaching him] Huh?! [in his POV, they are quickly walking closely to him] No!
• [Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab where all three faux-chovies are meeping and walking to the kitchen.]
• Squidward: It's about time, SpongeBob. LateBob is more like it. Ha, LateBob. [laughs, then snorts]
• Incidental 49: When you're done snorting, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty.
• Squidward: Okay, hold on. [laughs some more and Incidental 49 growls at him] One Krabby Patty, SpongeBob.
• [While all three are meeping, Incidental 154 tosses a patty onto the grill, SpongeBob puts lettuce and a bun on it, and puts them onto the bottom bun which has cheese on it. 154 feeds the patty the Patrick and after he swallows it, he meeps.]
• Squidward: [while they are heard meeping] SpongeBob, stop that meeping! What do you think you are? An anchovy?
• [Old Man Walker walks by the office until he gets slammed by the door Mr. Krabs opens.]
• Mr. Krabs: I hear money meeps! Are the anchovies back?
• Squidward: It's [points to the kitchen] SpongeBob. [puts on headphones and puts his feet up on cash register]
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [enters the kitchen; heard off-screen] What in the barnacles is going on here? [squeals as he turns into a faux-chovy]
• [SpongeBob, Patrick, Incidental 154, and Mr. Krabs walk out the kitchen meeping and they turn the customers into faux-chovies. All of them walk out meeping.]
• [The scene cuts to Lady Upturn walking her pet Fifi.]
• Lady Upturn: [notices the faux-chovies approaching and Fifi starts growling] Step aside and let my precious Fifi pass, or I will be offended. [the faux-chovies pass by her and she spins around, turning her and Fifi into one. As they meep, they hop away.]
• [Some kids are seen skateboarding and the faux-chovies transform them into their kind. The kids then start shredding on the group.]
• Incidental 41: [walks to a pole] Huh? [notices the faux-chovies approaching] It's a stamp-meep! [climbs on top of the pole] Phew! [the faux-chovies walk on it and transform him into a faux-chovy]
• [The group walks away and Incidental 41 is at the end meeping on the phone. The scene cuts to the news.]
• Realistic Fish Head: [off-screen; the words slide on screen] Breaking News. [the words shatter]
• Gale Doppler: I'm Gale Doppler with the big weather. And I'd like to report it's sunny skies for Bikini Bottom. But not today, [a map of the ocean slides behind him] cause there's a storm warning coming at ya. [an animated image group of faux-chovies is shown] We got a gust of faux-chovies coming in from the southwest. Now with [pokes his eye] a closer look, here's our man on the street, Rube Goldfish!
• Rube: Thanks, Gale! I'm here with the faux-chovies that are causing all this meep-abaloo. Now I just have to ask the question everyone wants to know. What in the world does "meep" mean?
• [The faux-chovies surround circle Rube and turn him into a faux-chovy.]
• Rube: [rises from the middle of the circle] A-meep-ing!
• Gale Doppler: Haha, thanks Rube! So if you don't wanna turn into an anchovy today, you're advised to stay indoors until that faux-chovy pressure system [pushes the faux-chovy group image] moves away. Haha. [the image comes back] Huh? [the image jumps at Gale] Whoa! [he falls down and when he gets up, he has the shape of a faux-chovy and his eyes become strabismus] Haha, meep!
• [Bubble transition to Squidward flipping the open sign to closed at the Krusty Krab.]
• Squidward: Ah... and now, [locks the door] it's Squiddy time. [takes off to the boat register; puts mayo on his nose and puts on his headphones] When the customers sizzle, the octopus will sizzle. Ha, yeah.
• [Just then, the faux-chovies arrive at the Krusty Krab.]
• Faux-chovies: Meep meep, [they jump, causing a wavelength in the floorboards] dinner dinner! Meep meep, dinner [the wavelength flings Squidward away] dinner!
• Squidward: [as he slides the floor and crashes on the door] Whoa! [looks at the faux-chovies and near-silently shrieks]
• [A pan of the faux-chovies is shown.]
• Squidward: SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are faux-chovies?
• SpongeBob: [puts his hand through the doors to unlock them] Meeeeep, [turns the key] meep!
• [The faux-chovies bursts through the doors.]
• French narrator: [reading time card] Many meeps later...
• [The scene cuts to Squidward trying to take the faux-chovies' orders.]
• Squidward: Okay, okay, slow down! One Krabby Patty, one Krabby Patty, one Krabby Patty, one Krabby Patty! [the scene cuts to his tentacles making a Krabby Patty, to which he throws out the window]
• [One of the faux-chovies eats the flung Krabby Patty.]
• Squidward: [writing an order, then stops] Whoever wants a Krabby Patty, raise your hand! I can't hear your meeping with these headphones on! [releases a part of it] Thank Neptune! [lets go of it then moans]
• [The scene cuts back to his tentacles making another Krabby Patty, then is flung out the window which hits Squidward's head, causing the headphones to come off and one of the faux-chovies eats them.]
• Squidward: No, not my headphones! [covers his "ears"] The meeps. I can hear the horrible meeps! [stuffs napkins into his ears]
• [A bus arrives, and the anchovies come out.]
• Anchovies: Meep meep, hungry! [enter the restaurant continuously saying this]
• Squidward: [while the napkins come out of his "ears"] More meeps?
• Anchovies: [the first three look at each other] Meep...
• Faux-chovies: Meep!
• Anchovies: [angry] Meep! [three of them growl]
• Squidward: [gasps] Anchovy rumble! [hides in the boat register]
• [The anchovies and faux-chovies walk in one big circle, one group on one side and another on the other.]
• Anchovies: Meep.
• Faux-chovies: [approaching the anchovies] Meep!
• Anchovies: [pile up into a pyramid and puts on sunglasses] Meep! Argh!
• Faux-chovies: [pile up into a pyramid, some of them meep, others growl]
• Anchovies: [grabs a pole] Meep!
• [The faux-chovies hide behind SpongeBob.]
• SpongeBob: [holds out stopping hand] Meep!
• [An anchovy meeps at him until he takes off his sunglasses, then has a flashback of earlier in the episode of SpongeBob giving him the Krusty Krab take out bag.]
• SpongeBob: My bad! I meant, meep meep!
• Anchovy: Oh, meep!
• [The scene flashes back to the Krusty Krab and the anchovy hops off then sniffs SpongeBob. They high five and fist bump.]
• SpongeBob: Meep, meep! I thought that was you! [laughs]
• Squidward: The whole world has gone insane!
• [All of the anchovies handshake with the faux-chovies.]
• Squidward: I can't take it anymore! That is the last meep! [runs to the phone while he pants in distress, then dials a number]
• [The scene cuts to a live-action pizzeria.]
• Chef: [answers the phone; with an Italian accent] Surface World Pizza, what do you want?
• Squidward: I'd like an extra, extra, extra large pizza sent to the Krusty Krab as soon as possible.
• Chef: Hey, you want a pizza as soon as possible, you got it, Calimaro! [puts the phone down and smiles]
• Squidward: [hearing the hang-up] Gah! [puts the phone back] Ha! [walks back to the register] Nobody's turning me into a faux-chovy! [laughs]
• Hans: [opens the roof to the Krusty Krab and meeping is heard, and he has a box of pizza] Pizza delivery!
• Anchovies and faux-chovies: Huh? [they move out of the way and the box drops in the middle of them]
• Anchovies: Pizza?! [runs away back to the bus and it drives away]
• Faux-chovies: [smells the pizza] Mmmmm!
• SpongeBob: Mmmm, that smells good! [turns back into himself] Boing!
• [Everyone else turns back into themselves.]
• Mr. Krabs: [walks to SpongeBob] Phew! I thought we'd never snap out of that faux-chovy thing!
• SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs! I didn't realize how easy it is to get swept up into a meep mentality!
• Mr. Krabs: It's not your fault, boy-o. We're just lucky that pizza is the anchovies' natural enemy!
• Rube: Yeah, whoever ordered that pie saved our lives! [he, Lady Upturn, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl open the box of pizza]
• SpongeBob: And we shouldn't let it go to waste! [Patrick rubs his palms together] It's still hot!
• Patrick: Oh-ho-ho-ho! [runs to the box and picks up a slice, walks away, and it falls on him] What? No anchovies?
• Mr. Krabs: [taps SpongeBob with his shoulder] All that meeping made me hungry too! Mr. Squidward, we need some paper plates out here!
• SpongeBob: Squidward? [looks around for him] Uh, are you here?
• Mr. Krabs: Now just where is that lazy bum while all this is going on?
• [The scene cuts to anchovies on the bus meeping to "The Wheels on the Bus," and the camera zooms in to Squidward, who is now a faux-chovy.]
• Squidward: [the camera pans out] Meep... [tears up and the episode irises out on his eyes]